本期我們朗思教育陳老師給大家分享雅思寫作7分課：年輕人正從農村背井離鄉到城市學習或工作。原因是什么？這種發展的好處大于缺點嗎？這個話題。

  Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

  應對這道題，學生在原因表述中寫了這樣一個句子：
  In addition, citizens have better medical facilities and more convenience, they can go around the city by varied kinds of traffic transport and many famous hospitals locate in the city center.
  學生在原因闡述時出現了跑題，并且在句子銜接上缺少了連接詞。
教師修改后如下：

  In addition, with a higher level of infrastructure provided in urban areas, those young people can be better secured academically and financially, thus applying themselves to their pursuit in studies and work.

1、作文一定要扣題，城市生活的便利性不應是寫作的重點，而是要服務于題目中說到的去城市學習和工作；
2、academically and financially；另外留意兩個副詞的靈活使用；

3、原句當中兩個單句缺乏連接詞的銜接，在修改的句子中重新整合邏輯，用一個整句呈現：城市有更好的基礎設施水平→使年輕人在學習和經濟上得到保證→因此就能專注于自己的追求；另注意thus是副詞，不可連接兩個分句。