這個(gè)題目：We rely on the news for knowledge of the world, but we are unsure how far to trust journalists, what do you think? And discuss what are the important qualities journalists should have?

學(xué)生在主體部分某段第一句寫了下面這句話：
  Protests and rebellions could be totally wiped away on the paper to make an illusion of peace and harmony—stains are not allowed to be exposed in order to ensure the power and interest of authorities.

修改后如下：
  Serving in the state-owned news agencies, many journalists would wipe protests from their coverages or distort the facts, so as to ensure the power and interests of authorities.

  英文中的破折號(hào)dash（——）：常用在一個(gè)解釋性的插入語前面和后面，相當(dāng)于括號(hào)；也常用在一個(gè)解釋性的分句或句子前面。但原文破折號(hào)后面的信息還不如其意圖解釋的內(nèi)容來得通俗易懂，不如刪去。

  被動(dòng)語態(tài)在英文中出現(xiàn)要符合幾大要求，其中有：動(dòng)作執(zhí)行者不明或不重要。但原句中未出現(xiàn)的執(zhí)行者journalists明顯是題干的核心討論對(duì)象，不僅不建議刪除，還需要自然過渡出和authorities的關(guān)系。

  改動(dòng)之后，討論對(duì)象journalists和觀點(diǎn)中authorities之間的關(guān)系可以通過一個(gè)前置的現(xiàn)在分詞短語serving in the state-owned news agencies體現(xiàn)，此處就是利用前置的分詞短語作原因狀語；

保留journalists wipe protests from coverages的目的，以so as to不定式作目的狀語引出。

★ 小總結(jié) ★
非謂語動(dòng)詞（分詞及不定式）也是有效展現(xiàn)原因、目的等狀語的手法。更多雅思真題解析資料，請(qǐng)關(guān)注朗思教育官方平臺(tái)！